Mute button

As you well may know, I am a Nascar freak. A t-shirt wearing, TV yelling, highly superstitious Nascar freak.

There is 1 solid week of race talk, speculation, dueling, qualifying and more talking right before the Daytona 500.

This year the 500 is the day after Valentines day, and I have requested a "mute button" as my Valentines gift.
Every year KC gives me 3 no strings attached "mutes". I have to request them ahead of time, but I always get them. On those 3 days, (Daytona 500, Talladega, and the Brickyard 400) I get to sit on the couch alone in the house with the TV and surround sound on as loud as I want.
I don't have to cook for anyone, I don't have to parent anyone, I don't answer the phone, emails or texts, and unless my driver is doing poorly, I don't have to do any laundry/cleaning. Although I do admit to doing some superstitious laundry to get him back into the top 10.
You laugh, I can hear you, but hand to God, it works. I do laundry Kasey Kahne gets back into the top 10. When I stop, he falls out. SO, I try to pace the Sunday laundry so that he is in the top 10 the entire race.
The rest of the year, it is just implied that if mommy is watching her race cars you (no pun intended) stear clear.
Now the only thing I have to worry about is if my T shirt will be here in time.