This is the e-mail I sent to the school principal this morning. I am sick of the entitled Sherwood parents that are afraid that their children will melt if they get rain on them.
Good Morning Mr. Smith,
I apologize for bombarding you with this first thing in the morning, but if I don't address it now, I will forget again.
The parent pick up and drop off line is a major concern for me.
This morning for example I dropped my 2 children off at school at 7:38. When I arrived, there were 6 cars stopped behind the cross walk and NO ONE had pulled up to the sign that Eric Beasley had put out saying very clearly, "Please pull forward to here." With a large arrow pointing at the spot. I had to go around those 6 cars to follow the rules.
Eric was waving all of those cars forward and from what I witnessed, only one actually acknowledged him and pulled forward the others went on with their drop offs behind the cross walk.
This concerns me a great deal. When parents have to consistently pull around the cars that are not following the rules, it creates an extremely dangerous situation for our children and staff that are using the crosswalk and creating a catch 22 of sorts.
That being, do we break the rules with the habitual offenders and not pull up creating a nightmarish Carline situation for all, or do we pass those cars to follow the rules risking hitting a child that is not paying attention crossing in the parking lot cross walk or potentially hit a staff member.
I do realize that car line will never be perfect for all. Middleton administration and staff HAVE made great improvements in the afternoon line. I do appreciate all the improvements that have been made. They have been noticed by many and appreciated.
Now our major concern should be the morning line.
I do realize that you have alot of things to do at the school, and that you can't be everywhere managing everything so, I would be happy to help create and manage a parents/staff/admin brain storming group at the school to create some flow solutions, and find an acceptable way to inform parents of what the rules are and what the consequences of not following those rules will be. I do realize that many messages have been in the Middleton Messenger regarding the line, but in some cases, it is falling on "deaf" ears.
I'd even be happy to stand out there in the morning and "gently encourage" those who do not follow the rules to begin to.
I am extremely proud of our school, and I want everyone to feel the same way I do. I just wish that some of our parents could follow the "respectful, responsible and safe" motto that our children follow.
Let me know if there is anything I can do to help.
My phone number is 503-XXX-XXXX Thank you for listening, and again I apologize for hitting you with this first thing in the morning.
Have a great day,
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Monday, January 5, 2009
I've got my big girl pants on.
I want to believe that people are inherently good.
I want to believe that people always have good intentions and don't seek to defraud and steal from others.
I don't like the situation that I am currently in.
Back in October, a Pure Romance party happened at my house.
Orders were placed and money was exchanged. 2 people committed to having their own parties and did hold those parties. (those parties had the same problem I am about to tell you about.)
The consultant who did the party in the name of Pure Romance. (she used the words Pure Romance multiple times.) Took our money, and handed out product. What she didn't have in stock she told us she'd have to order.
Not something totally unreasonable right?! It's perfectly reasonable. We as her customers in good faith gave her our checks. Some even used their debit cards.
As of today January 5Th we have not received our orders and all that we have gotten is an empty promise of delivery.
I called this consultant the day of my friend Patti's party, which was in November. I wanted an up date on my product.
I CALLED HER!! SHE HADN'T CALLED ME.
She gave me this garbage story that Pure Romance shipped her entire order wrong, she had sent it back and was waiting for her correct order to show up. She assured me that I'd have my order soon. So, I waited. And waited some more.
Yesterday, I sent her an e-mail. It bounced back to me. Today I called her cell phone.....its been disconnected. I called her land line, disconnected. Tonight "P" and I went to her house. Her car was in the driveway. Her house lights were on, there was cat food on the porch in bowls, there were noises in her house. When we knocked...the house fell silent. We waited. Noise came back. We rang the bell, the house fell silent. It was clear she wasn't coming to the door.
So as we left, and thanks to modern technology, I now have a picture of her licence plate.
I am going to take that picture with me when the Crying Jew and I go to the Sherwood Police department and file police reports of theft and fraud. I am also getting extra report forms for the ladies that were at my house and for those who attended other parties.
I have contacted Pure Romance, but without a receipt which I didn't receive as I was told she needed it for the order, I am up shit creek with out a paddle so this is my only recourse.
I am sad that I have to do this. I am not afraid, just sad.
This woman is a single mom. She has 2 kids and has recently lost her job. I am sad that I have to make her life a bit more difficult. But if I don't she will do this to more people and I can't have that on my conscience.
So, I have put my big girl pants on, tightened my belt, and I am ready for it all!
I want to believe that people always have good intentions and don't seek to defraud and steal from others.
I don't like the situation that I am currently in.
Back in October, a Pure Romance party happened at my house.
Orders were placed and money was exchanged. 2 people committed to having their own parties and did hold those parties. (those parties had the same problem I am about to tell you about.)
The consultant who did the party in the name of Pure Romance. (she used the words Pure Romance multiple times.) Took our money, and handed out product. What she didn't have in stock she told us she'd have to order.
Not something totally unreasonable right?! It's perfectly reasonable. We as her customers in good faith gave her our checks. Some even used their debit cards.
As of today January 5Th we have not received our orders and all that we have gotten is an empty promise of delivery.
I called this consultant the day of my friend Patti's party, which was in November. I wanted an up date on my product.
I CALLED HER!! SHE HADN'T CALLED ME.
She gave me this garbage story that Pure Romance shipped her entire order wrong, she had sent it back and was waiting for her correct order to show up. She assured me that I'd have my order soon. So, I waited. And waited some more.
Yesterday, I sent her an e-mail. It bounced back to me. Today I called her cell phone.....its been disconnected. I called her land line, disconnected. Tonight "P" and I went to her house. Her car was in the driveway. Her house lights were on, there was cat food on the porch in bowls, there were noises in her house. When we knocked...the house fell silent. We waited. Noise came back. We rang the bell, the house fell silent. It was clear she wasn't coming to the door.
So as we left, and thanks to modern technology, I now have a picture of her licence plate.
I am going to take that picture with me when the Crying Jew and I go to the Sherwood Police department and file police reports of theft and fraud. I am also getting extra report forms for the ladies that were at my house and for those who attended other parties.
I have contacted Pure Romance, but without a receipt which I didn't receive as I was told she needed it for the order, I am up shit creek with out a paddle so this is my only recourse.
I am sad that I have to do this. I am not afraid, just sad.
This woman is a single mom. She has 2 kids and has recently lost her job. I am sad that I have to make her life a bit more difficult. But if I don't she will do this to more people and I can't have that on my conscience.
So, I have put my big girl pants on, tightened my belt, and I am ready for it all!
Sunday, January 4, 2009
Is the word Turnip code for drugs?
Seriously how dumb are people?
I posted that I had 3 turnips that my family wont eat on Craigs List. So I get a call today that this gal would like to trade with me. I call her back and this is the conversation.
Me: "Hi, I am returning the call from the gal looking for Turnips."
Her "that's me, do you still have the turnips?"
Me " I sure do. they are very fresh"
Her "cool.....would you like to trade them for some Chronic broccoli or cauliflour?"
Me "um, I'd rather have the broccoli or Cauliflour....dont need the chronic thanks."
Her "oh ok..bye"
So seriously, are you so hard up for TURNIPS that you are willing to trade dope for it? Or am I being thick and posted an add for drugs? I really don't know. HELP!!!! I don't know the code if there is one.
I posted that I had 3 turnips that my family wont eat on Craigs List. So I get a call today that this gal would like to trade with me. I call her back and this is the conversation.
Me: "Hi, I am returning the call from the gal looking for Turnips."
Her "that's me, do you still have the turnips?"
Me " I sure do. they are very fresh"
Her "cool.....would you like to trade them for some Chronic broccoli or cauliflour?"
Me "um, I'd rather have the broccoli or Cauliflour....dont need the chronic thanks."
Her "oh ok..bye"
So seriously, are you so hard up for TURNIPS that you are willing to trade dope for it? Or am I being thick and posted an add for drugs? I really don't know. HELP!!!! I don't know the code if there is one.
Thursday, January 1, 2009
$ 10.25
I hate starting things with numbers.....I feel like I am getting ready to break into a song from rent.
I have to start with a number however because I am 1. horrified that movie prices have gone up to 10.25 to see a movie, and that people pay that amount and then treat the movie theater like it is their personal living room.
My husband is rolling his eyes at me for this because he knows that I have a thing with movie theaters. (actually it is the people that go there.)
So that I don't turn into a beast and snarl at the people around me, I typically sit in the back. (unless of course I am with someone who hates the back and then I insist on sitting on the end so that I can get out and cool off if necessary)
I can't stand listening to some one scarf down their popcorn I HATE it. Popcorn eating smackers are drawn to me and always seem to sit behind me. But, as usual, I digress.
The reason why I am writing tonight is this. Kate and I went to see Ani and John's new beautiful baby boy today. He is absolutely darling. He is bigger than my children were at his tender age of 5 days old. BUT I can't remember my kids being that small. Oh how they grow. Anyway after the visit with Ani, and John we went to dinner, then to Bridgeport for a movie.
The movie was lovely. We saw Benjamin Button. You must see this movie. It is a long 166 minutes, but it is such a nice story. Its not the feel good movie of the year, but it is very entertaining and I did NOT do a watch check half way through. A good sign that I am being entertained.
We got to the theater early enough to snag the BEST spot in my opinion. On the end in the back. Oh how happy I was knowing that NO ONE could bother me tonight. Boy was I wrong. We couldn't have been in our seats 5 minutes before 2 people chose to sit almost on top of Kate in a virtually empty row instead of leaving the courtesy seat between strangers. (I know what you are thinking, I am being overly sensitive. Usually I'd agree with you, but there were plenty of seats for these yahoos to sit in so WHY did they choose to sit by us.) Needless to say Kate and I moved seats. To the Handicapped seats saying very loudly to those around us that we'd happily move if a disabled person needed the seats. Then Dork ball that plopped down next to us says "Oh ya no one ever sits there" I almost yelled across Kate saying, "then why the hell didn't you sit there butt wad" But I didn't. Now I mentioned that the movie was 166 minutes for a reason. Kate and I for 166 minutes got to listen to dork wad smoosh and open his candy wrappers. Slowly and loudly. Over and Over again. We also got to listen to them talk in their normal voices (not whispers) during the entire movie. These people thought that they were at home. They would get up, drop things, go pick them up, stretch, talk and just be rude to those around them with their noise level. I only had to listen to the guy I have dubbed the squeaker. His chair needed to have its hinges greased as the chair as he rocked it went squeak squeak squeak squeak, you get the picture.
Why is it that we as a society have become so rude? Why is it socially acceptable to say bring in a bag of fast food into a movie theater, or talk loudly through a movie. I understand that they also paid the same amount of money for their tickets to see the movie, but when they put up a poster at the theater saying "please be considerate of those around you and silence your cell phone" shouldn't you also silence yourself? Or do we need a poster for that too?
I have to start with a number however because I am 1. horrified that movie prices have gone up to 10.25 to see a movie, and that people pay that amount and then treat the movie theater like it is their personal living room.
My husband is rolling his eyes at me for this because he knows that I have a thing with movie theaters. (actually it is the people that go there.)
So that I don't turn into a beast and snarl at the people around me, I typically sit in the back. (unless of course I am with someone who hates the back and then I insist on sitting on the end so that I can get out and cool off if necessary)
I can't stand listening to some one scarf down their popcorn I HATE it. Popcorn eating smackers are drawn to me and always seem to sit behind me. But, as usual, I digress.
The reason why I am writing tonight is this. Kate and I went to see Ani and John's new beautiful baby boy today. He is absolutely darling. He is bigger than my children were at his tender age of 5 days old. BUT I can't remember my kids being that small. Oh how they grow. Anyway after the visit with Ani, and John we went to dinner, then to Bridgeport for a movie.
The movie was lovely. We saw Benjamin Button. You must see this movie. It is a long 166 minutes, but it is such a nice story. Its not the feel good movie of the year, but it is very entertaining and I did NOT do a watch check half way through. A good sign that I am being entertained.
We got to the theater early enough to snag the BEST spot in my opinion. On the end in the back. Oh how happy I was knowing that NO ONE could bother me tonight. Boy was I wrong. We couldn't have been in our seats 5 minutes before 2 people chose to sit almost on top of Kate in a virtually empty row instead of leaving the courtesy seat between strangers. (I know what you are thinking, I am being overly sensitive. Usually I'd agree with you, but there were plenty of seats for these yahoos to sit in so WHY did they choose to sit by us.) Needless to say Kate and I moved seats. To the Handicapped seats saying very loudly to those around us that we'd happily move if a disabled person needed the seats. Then Dork ball that plopped down next to us says "Oh ya no one ever sits there" I almost yelled across Kate saying, "then why the hell didn't you sit there butt wad" But I didn't. Now I mentioned that the movie was 166 minutes for a reason. Kate and I for 166 minutes got to listen to dork wad smoosh and open his candy wrappers. Slowly and loudly. Over and Over again. We also got to listen to them talk in their normal voices (not whispers) during the entire movie. These people thought that they were at home. They would get up, drop things, go pick them up, stretch, talk and just be rude to those around them with their noise level. I only had to listen to the guy I have dubbed the squeaker. His chair needed to have its hinges greased as the chair as he rocked it went squeak squeak squeak squeak, you get the picture.
Why is it that we as a society have become so rude? Why is it socially acceptable to say bring in a bag of fast food into a movie theater, or talk loudly through a movie. I understand that they also paid the same amount of money for their tickets to see the movie, but when they put up a poster at the theater saying "please be considerate of those around you and silence your cell phone" shouldn't you also silence yourself? Or do we need a poster for that too?
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Nascar 2009
I know you were waiting with baited breath for me to post the 2009 Nascar Sprint cup schedule, but before I do let me say I missed watching the races on race day 14 times. I missed those 14 races due to family obligations and activities with friends. I have made it clear to most everyone that I am a freak for Nascar. I don't know what to do with myself on Sundays between the last race and the 500 every year. Basically if anyone wants something from me on Sundays starting in February, you are S.O.L. 2009 will be the year of ME. I am NOT going to miss a race for ANYONE or ANY REASON. I even had my mom schedule our family trip to Disneyland around the points races, so that I wouldn't miss one. I will miss the All-star race, but I can always watch that in the hotel.
Now, of those 14 times I didn't get to watch 5 of them at all. The last 9 I taped and then had to stay completely away from Phone, TV and Internet until I got to watch the taped race. Which was difficult to.
That will NOT be happening this year.
Here is the deal.
There are 26 points races to get into the chase. There are 10 races in the chase to determine who is the Champion. There are also 2 non points races. The Shoot out on 2/7/09 and the All=star race on 5/16/09.
So here is the schedule and some side notes.
2/7/09 The Shoot-0ut
2/9/09 Speed Week starts.
2/12/09 The duels at Daytona
2/13/09 Daytona 500 Qualifying
2/15/09 MY Superbowl. The DAYTONA 500
(unlike the football Superbowl, I will not have or attend a party. This is MY race and I watch it MY way.)
2/22/09 Auto Club 500 Auto Club speedway
3/1/09 Shelby 427 at Las Vegas
3/8/09 Kobalt tools 500 Atlanta
3/22/09 Food City 500 Bristol
3/29/09 Goodie's Fast relief 500 Martinsville
4/5/09 Samsung 500 Texas
4/18/09 Subway fresh fit 500
4/26/09 Aarons 499 TALLADEGA This is like a Daytona race for me.
5/2/09 Your name here 400 Richmond
5/9/09 Southern 500 Darlington
5/16 the non points all star race at Lowes
5/24/09 Coke 600 Lowes
5/31/09 Dover 400 Dover
6/7/09 Pocono 500 Pocono
6/14/09 lifelock 400 Michigan
6/21/09 Toyota/savemart 350 Infineon (aka Sears Point)
6/28/09 Lenox industrial tools 301 New Hampshire
7/4/09 Coke Zero 400 Daytona - This is a holiday race
7/11/09 Life lock.com 400 Chicagoland
7/26/09 Allstate 400 AT THE BRICKYARD
8/2/09 Pennsylvania 500 Pocono
8/9/09 To be announced Watkins Glenn
8/16/09 To be announced Michigan
8/22/09 Sharpie 500 Bristol
9/6/09 Pep boys 500 Atalanta
9/12/09 Chevy Rock n Roll 400 Richmond ****last points race of regular season.
____________________________________________________
THE CHASE FOR THE SPRINT CUP
9/20/09 Sylvania 300 New Hampshire
9/27/09 Dover 400 Dover
10/4/09 Kansas 400 Kansas
10/11/09 Pepsi 500 Auto Club speedway
10/17/09 Bank of America 500 Lowes
10/25/09 To be announced Martinsville
11/01/09 Amp Energy 500 Talladega
11/08/09 Dickie's 500 Texas
11/15/09 Checker o'reilly auto parts 500 presented by Pennzoil Phoenix
11/22/09 FORD 400 HOMESTEAD MIAMI **this is the last race of the year. My weekends are now free until next February.
Nascar is important to me. Watching all of the races is important to me.
My kind and caring husband gladly takes over the Mommy jobs on the days that there are races. During the race, I don't have to cook/clean/answer the phone/entertain or parent. I for the most part get to watch the races alone, and in total quiet.
Yes I am one of those weirdo's that watches every singles lap, every left turn, everything.
I am counting down the days until I get to hear Darrel Waltrip say the now famous phrase, "Boogidy boogidy boogidy lets go racing boys!"
So sit down, strap in and enjoy the ride. Its going to be a good year!
THE 9 IN 09! That's my prediction!
Now, of those 14 times I didn't get to watch 5 of them at all. The last 9 I taped and then had to stay completely away from Phone, TV and Internet until I got to watch the taped race. Which was difficult to.
That will NOT be happening this year.
Here is the deal.
There are 26 points races to get into the chase. There are 10 races in the chase to determine who is the Champion. There are also 2 non points races. The Shoot out on 2/7/09 and the All=star race on 5/16/09.
So here is the schedule and some side notes.
2/7/09 The Shoot-0ut
2/9/09 Speed Week starts.
2/12/09 The duels at Daytona
2/13/09 Daytona 500 Qualifying
2/15/09 MY Superbowl. The DAYTONA 500
(unlike the football Superbowl, I will not have or attend a party. This is MY race and I watch it MY way.)
2/22/09 Auto Club 500 Auto Club speedway
3/1/09 Shelby 427 at Las Vegas
3/8/09 Kobalt tools 500 Atlanta
3/22/09 Food City 500 Bristol
3/29/09 Goodie's Fast relief 500 Martinsville
4/5/09 Samsung 500 Texas
4/18/09 Subway fresh fit 500
4/26/09 Aarons 499 TALLADEGA This is like a Daytona race for me.
5/2/09 Your name here 400 Richmond
5/9/09 Southern 500 Darlington
5/16 the non points all star race at Lowes
5/24/09 Coke 600 Lowes
5/31/09 Dover 400 Dover
6/7/09 Pocono 500 Pocono
6/14/09 lifelock 400 Michigan
6/21/09 Toyota/savemart 350 Infineon (aka Sears Point)
6/28/09 Lenox industrial tools 301 New Hampshire
7/4/09 Coke Zero 400 Daytona - This is a holiday race
7/11/09 Life lock.com 400 Chicagoland
7/26/09 Allstate 400 AT THE BRICKYARD
8/2/09 Pennsylvania 500 Pocono
8/9/09 To be announced Watkins Glenn
8/16/09 To be announced Michigan
8/22/09 Sharpie 500 Bristol
9/6/09 Pep boys 500 Atalanta
9/12/09 Chevy Rock n Roll 400 Richmond ****last points race of regular season.
____________________________________________________
THE CHASE FOR THE SPRINT CUP
9/20/09 Sylvania 300 New Hampshire
9/27/09 Dover 400 Dover
10/4/09 Kansas 400 Kansas
10/11/09 Pepsi 500 Auto Club speedway
10/17/09 Bank of America 500 Lowes
10/25/09 To be announced Martinsville
11/01/09 Amp Energy 500 Talladega
11/08/09 Dickie's 500 Texas
11/15/09 Checker o'reilly auto parts 500 presented by Pennzoil Phoenix
11/22/09 FORD 400 HOMESTEAD MIAMI **this is the last race of the year. My weekends are now free until next February.
Nascar is important to me. Watching all of the races is important to me.
My kind and caring husband gladly takes over the Mommy jobs on the days that there are races. During the race, I don't have to cook/clean/answer the phone/entertain or parent. I for the most part get to watch the races alone, and in total quiet.
Yes I am one of those weirdo's that watches every singles lap, every left turn, everything.
I am counting down the days until I get to hear Darrel Waltrip say the now famous phrase, "Boogidy boogidy boogidy lets go racing boys!"
So sit down, strap in and enjoy the ride. Its going to be a good year!
THE 9 IN 09! That's my prediction!
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
There a pie
No not real pie. Brain pie. (therapy)
The past year and a half I have been feeling anxious. People make me anxious. The thought of my geriatric dog completing the circle of life makes me anxious. Certain situations make me anxious.
I started thinking that something my be really wrong with me. 1 guess as to how that made me feel.
I thought that I'd never feel better again.
That is until now.
I am feeling better. I have a nice person that I talk to.
I am finding through therapy that only I am in control of me. I control my thoughts, actions, and feelings. That no one else can control me or take advantage of me unless I let them. (There is alot of power in that. )
It is re enforcing what I already knew. I am just as worthy as anyone else of love, praise, kindness, nice words, acceptance, fairness, and happiness, and that it is alright to want to make people happy, but it is entirely different if I do it to my own detriment.
She is helping me remove some of my people anxiety. I am coming to accept the fact that no matter what I do, there are going to people that don't like me. That it is OK and that I am allowed to let it go. That I can release myself from feeling like I have failed when people don't like me or when a friendship fails.
I carried a certain amount of guilt and the feeling of failure for the end of an extremely toxic friendship. It wasn't alot, it was just enough to keep me holding on to a memory.
The literal and realist thinking side of my brain knew that a friendship with an untreated alcoholic is not a friendship. It knew that to some point I was a means to an end. But most importantly it knew I was an enabler. Now the other side of my brain which I consider to be granola, idealistically held on to the hope that she'd go to treatment. She'd get sober, and things would be all sunshine and lollipops, and we'd be skipping down a rainbow again. That didn't happen and in August, the rational side finally won, and I cut that friendship loose.
The loss made me feel better. But it didn't make me feel GOOD.
Definitely not this good.
With this new found hope, I am changing. "she" says I am evolving. I say Bah, just changing. I don't need the fancy word.
I am changing. The way I looked at things a year ago, 6 months ago are not necessarily the way I am looking at things now.
I am finding my voice, I am achieving my balance. I know what I love to do and I am doing it. (I just can't say how much I enjoy volunteering at the school. I'd be there all day every day if I could.) Sometimes I say that its alot of work and complain about it to my friends, but everyone feels that way about something. Heck, motherhood is the HARDEST and most work I have ever done. Do I complain about it to my friends? Hell ya, do I stop doing it? Hell NO!
My stress level is dropping. It feels so good to have that knot out of my back. I am definitely not getting riled up about silly things as much. For instance, my mother asked that I look mainstream for Christmas. I took the red out of my hair. The old me would have let that fester and swell and I'd get all worked up and huffy. ITS ONLY HAIR. Really, I'd have gotten worked up about hair. So, I did it for my mom. I figure it was a good Christmas gift, and really she's my mom and it was not an out of line request. I accept the fact that she doesn't like to see me all pierced and tattooed. It scares her that I have a Harley. That's her deal not mine, but red hair that was really all she could handle.
Anyway, its going to be 2009 soon. (I get my car back on the 9Th, its 2009, and the 9 is the car I pull for in Nascar) I resolve to continue my change, to remain sober, and to remain smoke free. '09 is going to be a great year!
Happy New Year to all. I hope you and yours are safe and happy!
The past year and a half I have been feeling anxious. People make me anxious. The thought of my geriatric dog completing the circle of life makes me anxious. Certain situations make me anxious.
I started thinking that something my be really wrong with me. 1 guess as to how that made me feel.
I thought that I'd never feel better again.
That is until now.
I am feeling better. I have a nice person that I talk to.
I am finding through therapy that only I am in control of me. I control my thoughts, actions, and feelings. That no one else can control me or take advantage of me unless I let them. (There is alot of power in that. )
It is re enforcing what I already knew. I am just as worthy as anyone else of love, praise, kindness, nice words, acceptance, fairness, and happiness, and that it is alright to want to make people happy, but it is entirely different if I do it to my own detriment.
She is helping me remove some of my people anxiety. I am coming to accept the fact that no matter what I do, there are going to people that don't like me. That it is OK and that I am allowed to let it go. That I can release myself from feeling like I have failed when people don't like me or when a friendship fails.
I carried a certain amount of guilt and the feeling of failure for the end of an extremely toxic friendship. It wasn't alot, it was just enough to keep me holding on to a memory.
The literal and realist thinking side of my brain knew that a friendship with an untreated alcoholic is not a friendship. It knew that to some point I was a means to an end. But most importantly it knew I was an enabler. Now the other side of my brain which I consider to be granola, idealistically held on to the hope that she'd go to treatment. She'd get sober, and things would be all sunshine and lollipops, and we'd be skipping down a rainbow again. That didn't happen and in August, the rational side finally won, and I cut that friendship loose.
The loss made me feel better. But it didn't make me feel GOOD.
Definitely not this good.
With this new found hope, I am changing. "she" says I am evolving. I say Bah, just changing. I don't need the fancy word.
I am changing. The way I looked at things a year ago, 6 months ago are not necessarily the way I am looking at things now.
I am finding my voice, I am achieving my balance. I know what I love to do and I am doing it. (I just can't say how much I enjoy volunteering at the school. I'd be there all day every day if I could.) Sometimes I say that its alot of work and complain about it to my friends, but everyone feels that way about something. Heck, motherhood is the HARDEST and most work I have ever done. Do I complain about it to my friends? Hell ya, do I stop doing it? Hell NO!
My stress level is dropping. It feels so good to have that knot out of my back. I am definitely not getting riled up about silly things as much. For instance, my mother asked that I look mainstream for Christmas. I took the red out of my hair. The old me would have let that fester and swell and I'd get all worked up and huffy. ITS ONLY HAIR. Really, I'd have gotten worked up about hair. So, I did it for my mom. I figure it was a good Christmas gift, and really she's my mom and it was not an out of line request. I accept the fact that she doesn't like to see me all pierced and tattooed. It scares her that I have a Harley. That's her deal not mine, but red hair that was really all she could handle.
Anyway, its going to be 2009 soon. (I get my car back on the 9Th, its 2009, and the 9 is the car I pull for in Nascar) I resolve to continue my change, to remain sober, and to remain smoke free. '09 is going to be a great year!
Happy New Year to all. I hope you and yours are safe and happy!
Monday, December 29, 2008
December
December came in like a lion, and has kept roaring since its arrival.
The month started off with me getting to know the car in front of me, and saying a temporary good-bye to a loved one. (my auto)
Then to add insult to injury, the stomach flu came to my house and stayed a bit. (why is it someone in my family has to puke for Christmas?)
There are only a handful of times per year someone in my house either vomits, or has some sort of accident. It is either for Christmas, or 2 days after my mother has left the country for 6 weeks.
[Example October 1999. My mother leaves the country, Ben who is 5 months old, gets the flu. Then I get the flu.....then KC gets the flu, passes out in the bathroom, falls and hits his head on the toilet, and has to be taken by ambulance to the hospital.
Worried that my dear husband has some sort of Cerebral Hemorrhage, I call my moms friend who kindly came and watched puke boy so I could rush to the hospital to be ill by my husbands bedside.
Luckily it was only a MINOR flesh wound, but my time of being able to be ill lasted about 4 hours. So puke and feverish, I take my poor man home, put him to bed, feed the boy, put him to bed, and I slept on the couch with a bucket. Who ever coined the phrase, "mothers are never allowed to be ill" was a freaking genius.]
So after the illness that struck Ben and I, completely missing Sarah and KC, it snowed. Not the cute "oh its snowing" kind of snow. Oh NO it had to be the city crippling kind. The kind of snow that cancels the last week of school before the winter 2 week break. THANK YOU MOTHER NATURE! YOU ARE A BITCH! I am happy that I am overly organized and had all of the shopping done by Halloween. If I hadn't have been like that I would have been screwed. Because I unlike many people here in Oregon, know my limitations when driving. I lived through a winter in Provo Utah. I can drive in snow. I had to. I can put my chains on, and can slowly get to where I am going if I absolutely need to. If you can drive in Utah, you can drive anywhere.....You haven't lived until you have driven there....There is really no way to put it other than, Picture it an old VW micro bus with 9 kids in it on Sunday LATE for church. I'd take snow any day over the bus. When a Mormon is late for church you'd be better off putting your car into the ditch yourself....Sorry to offend the Koreans, but you have nothing on a Mormon. Sorry. I'd actually prefer the scary ride with the Korean than a late Mormon. I know I am digressing, but bear with me. There is a thing we used to call the Mormon miracle...Church started at 9am. When church started there were a few families that made it on time. The singles that made it on time, and the Senior that made it on time. The Mormon miracle was that after you opened your eyes after the prayer (at 9:05) the sanctuary was FULL.
So back to December. By the 22ND I had cabin fever. I couldn't take it anymore. Neither could my friend Steph. She and her hubby Kevin, went Christmas shopping and left their kids with me. Oddly with 4 kids in the house, it got considerably quieter. She took my kids home with her that night and they all had a sleep over. KC got up on the 23rd and went to work, so that left me ALONE in my house.......which I spent cleaning. After a bit Kevin came to get me in my snow filled cul-de-sac with his little Honda Civic. Poor car is still at my house. When Kevin and I got stuck, the only thing that went through my mind was OH MY GOD Steph is going to KILL us if we don't make it back and she would be alone with 4 kids. My super hero neighbor saved us though and with his 4wd, got us where we needed to be.
The 24Th came and went without incident or travel. (for me. KC went to the Chinese place and got us yummy food that I didn't have to cook.) Kids started bugging us to open presents at noon, and it kept up most of the day. I spent alot of time humming LALALALALALALA I can't hear you.
Christmas day was really nice. My parents came over for breakfast, after we had opened our gifts, which were a total hit. Lots of screaming and yelling, "that's exactly what I wanted!" I am doing the same thing next year. When the toys r us catalogue comes out I am giving the kids sharpie pens, they circle what they want, and I get what fits in the budget from that. We then made the 1/2 mile trek to my brothers house for a really nice really fun dinner and karaoke. We heard alot of "this was the best Christmas ever" from young and OLD.
So now, the 29Th day of what feels like the longest month of my life is here. I am finally able to get out of the house without the fear that some "A"hole with 4wd and no chains on and going 50mph is going to hit me. (why do people assume that they are safe with 4wd? To me that just means all 4 tires skid when you hit ice.) The lion is starting to slip off into slumber land, I am beginning to feel like a human again and not the domestic.
The insurance company ass/u/r/es** me that my car will be done by the 31st of this month. I say BAH Humbug. Not going to happen. I really want my shinny red sleigh back, but I will be the last person to hold my breath.
(I lived through a house remodel, I know that 3 weeks means 6 and by my math I have 2 1/2 weeks to go.)
Anyway to sum it up, the last month of the year has me completely ready for 2009. I am still committed to being a recovering smoker, although every day I dream of lighting something on fire and sticking it in my mouth. I am continuing my goal of feeding my family mostly home made and all organic foods.
I am excited that 24 is starting up again after our brief teaser, I am happy knowing that I will get to hold 2 new born babies this year that AREN'T mine.
I have friends, I have my health, I have my family, and still with that some days I actually have SANITY!
The month started off with me getting to know the car in front of me, and saying a temporary good-bye to a loved one. (my auto)
Then to add insult to injury, the stomach flu came to my house and stayed a bit. (why is it someone in my family has to puke for Christmas?)
There are only a handful of times per year someone in my house either vomits, or has some sort of accident. It is either for Christmas, or 2 days after my mother has left the country for 6 weeks.
[Example October 1999. My mother leaves the country, Ben who is 5 months old, gets the flu. Then I get the flu.....then KC gets the flu, passes out in the bathroom, falls and hits his head on the toilet, and has to be taken by ambulance to the hospital.
Worried that my dear husband has some sort of Cerebral Hemorrhage, I call my moms friend who kindly came and watched puke boy so I could rush to the hospital to be ill by my husbands bedside.
Luckily it was only a MINOR flesh wound, but my time of being able to be ill lasted about 4 hours. So puke and feverish, I take my poor man home, put him to bed, feed the boy, put him to bed, and I slept on the couch with a bucket. Who ever coined the phrase, "mothers are never allowed to be ill" was a freaking genius.]
So after the illness that struck Ben and I, completely missing Sarah and KC, it snowed. Not the cute "oh its snowing" kind of snow. Oh NO it had to be the city crippling kind. The kind of snow that cancels the last week of school before the winter 2 week break. THANK YOU MOTHER NATURE! YOU ARE A BITCH! I am happy that I am overly organized and had all of the shopping done by Halloween. If I hadn't have been like that I would have been screwed. Because I unlike many people here in Oregon, know my limitations when driving. I lived through a winter in Provo Utah. I can drive in snow. I had to. I can put my chains on, and can slowly get to where I am going if I absolutely need to. If you can drive in Utah, you can drive anywhere.....You haven't lived until you have driven there....There is really no way to put it other than, Picture it an old VW micro bus with 9 kids in it on Sunday LATE for church. I'd take snow any day over the bus. When a Mormon is late for church you'd be better off putting your car into the ditch yourself....Sorry to offend the Koreans, but you have nothing on a Mormon. Sorry. I'd actually prefer the scary ride with the Korean than a late Mormon. I know I am digressing, but bear with me. There is a thing we used to call the Mormon miracle...Church started at 9am. When church started there were a few families that made it on time. The singles that made it on time, and the Senior that made it on time. The Mormon miracle was that after you opened your eyes after the prayer (at 9:05) the sanctuary was FULL.
So back to December. By the 22ND I had cabin fever. I couldn't take it anymore. Neither could my friend Steph. She and her hubby Kevin, went Christmas shopping and left their kids with me. Oddly with 4 kids in the house, it got considerably quieter. She took my kids home with her that night and they all had a sleep over. KC got up on the 23rd and went to work, so that left me ALONE in my house.......which I spent cleaning. After a bit Kevin came to get me in my snow filled cul-de-sac with his little Honda Civic. Poor car is still at my house. When Kevin and I got stuck, the only thing that went through my mind was OH MY GOD Steph is going to KILL us if we don't make it back and she would be alone with 4 kids. My super hero neighbor saved us though and with his 4wd, got us where we needed to be.
The 24Th came and went without incident or travel. (for me. KC went to the Chinese place and got us yummy food that I didn't have to cook.) Kids started bugging us to open presents at noon, and it kept up most of the day. I spent alot of time humming LALALALALALALA I can't hear you.
Christmas day was really nice. My parents came over for breakfast, after we had opened our gifts, which were a total hit. Lots of screaming and yelling, "that's exactly what I wanted!" I am doing the same thing next year. When the toys r us catalogue comes out I am giving the kids sharpie pens, they circle what they want, and I get what fits in the budget from that. We then made the 1/2 mile trek to my brothers house for a really nice really fun dinner and karaoke. We heard alot of "this was the best Christmas ever" from young and OLD.
So now, the 29Th day of what feels like the longest month of my life is here. I am finally able to get out of the house without the fear that some "A"hole with 4wd and no chains on and going 50mph is going to hit me. (why do people assume that they are safe with 4wd? To me that just means all 4 tires skid when you hit ice.) The lion is starting to slip off into slumber land, I am beginning to feel like a human again and not the domestic.
The insurance company ass/u/r/es** me that my car will be done by the 31st of this month. I say BAH Humbug. Not going to happen. I really want my shinny red sleigh back, but I will be the last person to hold my breath.
(I lived through a house remodel, I know that 3 weeks means 6 and by my math I have 2 1/2 weeks to go.)
Anyway to sum it up, the last month of the year has me completely ready for 2009. I am still committed to being a recovering smoker, although every day I dream of lighting something on fire and sticking it in my mouth. I am continuing my goal of feeding my family mostly home made and all organic foods.
I am excited that 24 is starting up again after our brief teaser, I am happy knowing that I will get to hold 2 new born babies this year that AREN'T mine.
I have friends, I have my health, I have my family, and still with that some days I actually have SANITY!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)